2 Bears, 1 Cave

It's the final Winter Bears of the season, and Stavros & Chris are ringing in the New Year the only way they know how: complaining about first class, overeating pastries, and making terrible life decisions! As 2025 wraps, the boys reflect on blown resolutions, chaotic travel plans, New Jersey "vacations," and Chris' catastrophic decision to roast the entire Jersey Shore cast. Plus: Delta lounge politics, childhood SNL trauma, double-the-bread-double-the-head, and Stav helping Chris talk through the worst career choice he's ever made.

The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity. Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed. From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a "god," and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here.

WHAT'S EVERYBODY! It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bart Chrysler! Los Angeles is being ravaged by wildfires right now, so Tom and Bert chime in on what's going and how serious the damage has been. The destruction has hit very close to home for them, so much so Bert's got himself a go bag ready by the door. The bears also talk about their kids playing sports, dumb shirts with pot leaves on them, ruining vacation photos, gifts for family, Tom's mom and sister both moving to Austin, Muslim fashion, a national uniform for people in America, clever Hollywood writers, and Nikki Glaser's Gold Globes hosting job. Bert also shares a story about Andrew "Dice" Clay asking him to keep his sons safe in LA, plus other stories from LA. Stay safe out there!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura being joined by guest bear, Adam "Pacman" Jones! "Pacman" is a former NFL cornerback and return specialist, who currently hosts The Pacman Jones Show, a streaming show on the BetOnline platform. Tom and Pacman talk about NFL shit talkers, the dirtiest players in the game, gaining confidence in your own skills, college football, spending money on dumb things, winning millions at the casinos, soft coaches, passing down wisdom to younger players, and golden toilets. Pacman also tells Tom about his dislike of Pittsburgh, his relationship with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, and tells his side of the story about what happened the night of the Jake Paul/Mike Tyson fight. Enjoy!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura being joined by guest bear, comedian, actor, and influencer Druski! Tom opens the show doing his best impression of Magic Johnson, much to Druski's amusement, before the two chat about Coulda Been Records, Druski's comedic American Idol-esque series that went from a joke to an actual global phenom. The duo also talk about touring around the world, career goals, Druski's ambitions, karate, sketch shows, fan engagement, and they bond over their mutual interest in Fancy Chef. Tom also introduces Druski to Robert Paul Champagne, they talk Alabama football, and Druski comes clean about what went down when he was invited to a Diddy party! Bert coulda been in this episode, but he was busy. Plus Druski abrupt leaves at the end of the episode...super random. Enjoy!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Krystals being joined by guest bear, blink-182 drummer Travis Barker! The Bears just announced the return of the 2 Bears 5k in Tampa and Travis is psyched for it, as he's become a running enthusiast over the years. In fact, he's got a 5K he's planning of his own going down in New Orleans THIS FRIDAY! Bert and Travis discuss the harrowing plane crash that Travis survived 17 years ago and how it changed his entire life. They also talk about riding around in tour buses, sharing the same bus driver, what motivators they like for marathons, the Kardashians, Joe Rogan's influence, meeting music greats, favorite tours, and rock star comedians, plus Travis also reveals his own unique tuna fish salad recipe! Try it out! 

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer!!! The bears are back together and Bert managed to keep all his toes. This week Tom and Bert talk medical updates, mortality, Bert's trip to Paris, and toxic rich person traits. Speaking of traits, Bert tumbles down a rabbit hole of self-diagnosis with Tom and has a realization that he may or may not have some sort of personality disorder. He suspects it's something called HPV or maybe it was HBP, I forget which one it was. Anyway, Bert has a therapy sesh with Tom, and then they talk about LeeAnn's country bumpkin attitude in France, social anxiety, Bert's plan to throw pennies around the city, the Hawk Tua girl's financial mistake, and much more!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Krystals being joined by guest bear, the great Kevin Nealon! Tom is away looking into getting a hair job in Turkey or something, so Kevin is in to pick up the slack. Fresh off the SNL 50th Anniversary event, Bert and Kevin talk all about SNL and the funny group of friends that Kevin has had around him from there. They also talk about why comedy was their calling, how long Bert can keep up the shirtless thing, gifting people sharp objects, aging with fans, staying fit, and Kevin Nealon speaking at Garry Shandling and Norm Macdonald's respective funerals. Kevin and Bert also swap Norm stories and Bert impresses with his investigative journalist skills. Check it out!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura joined by a pair of guest bears, the Are You Garbage? boys Kevin Ryan and H. Foley! They've got a documentary special coming out and they talk all about the intimacies of behind the scenes moments and the classic comedy bit of shitting your pants on camera. Christina P had the pleasure of recently appearing on Are You Garbage and the trio give the "Queen of Garbage" her flowers. They also talk about how insane Philadelphia got when they won the Super Bowl, the importance of mean old coaches, getting thrown out of restaurants, financial goals, being a big baller when the bill comes, shady banks, and the homicidal shenanigans of Tom's kids. Check it out!

In this wild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer flies solo—well, almost. He's joined by the hilarious Chris Distefano for a chaotic, high-energy conversation that somehow covers everything from colon health to Benito Mussolini. Chris introduces Bert to the Yuka app and starts scanning his diet, exposing just how questionable his food choices really are. They dive into couple's therapy, hair loss in men, and Bert's "child in flip-flops" fashion sense. The two also get deep on career goals in comedy, grinding in the industry, and the "Luigi Mangione of Serbia". But it wouldn't be 2 Bears without some unhinged history talk—Bert and Chris go off on a tangent about the history of currency, Bitcoin, the time Nazis packed Madison Square Garden, and the Axis Powers (because, why not?). They also touch on Florence, Italy, young people thinking Democrats are gay, and how their families keep them grounded. Strap in, grab a drink (or a Yuka-approved snack), and enjoy the show!

In this wet and mild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up on everything that's been going on since the last time they were face to face. They debate who the strongest comedian is, Bert claims it's himself, Tom suggests Godfrey or Carrot Top. Who do you think it is? The bears also talk about how cities kind of blow, Bob Dylan sorta sucks, Mussolini inventing fascism, Bert's big summer plans, Chrissy D performing at MSG on 9/11, plus some Oscars thoughts, some opinions on refrigerated food, and the different flavors of Spanish around the world. Enjoy the show!

Sean hosts the hottest interview show Hot Ones and sits in the interview chair to play Tom's own version of Hot Ones, except it involves scrotum sniffing...you'll see. The two chat about how the show has become a cultural phenomenon, the legacy of Chicago sports, Sasquatch, handwritten Quentin Tarantino scripts, weathermen, deep dish pizza, the Oscars, Bryce Mitchell, trustworthy news anchors, and Tom reveals when he will finally start watching "Severance". Sean also tells a cool story about how he became friends with Dave Grohl despite being kinda responsible for him shitting himself. Enjoy the show!

Bert and Tom take 2 Bears 1 Cave on location at SXSW, broadcasting straight from The Portal, a Por Osos sponsored party house—where the drinks are flowing, fans are mingling, and people are literally jumping off the roof into the pool. The chaos kicks off as Bert calls back to an insane AI-generated video called "Fat N-word Season," that does in fact exist. From there, they tackle the big questions in life, like what is the perfect boob size and do Black guys really not always fit all the way in during intercourse? They also get deep about comedians being forgotten in pop culture history, before immediately pivoting to Bert's questionable SXSW outfit and how he narrowly avoided disaster with Magic Johnson. Ari Shaffir's name comes up, Bert lays some praise on Tom for his Robert Smith costume on YMH Live X, and Tom tries to wrap his head around Bert becoming friends with Mel Gibson at a UFC event—which might just be the most Bert Kreischer thing ever.

Joey "CoCo" Diaz is back, baby! This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer welcomes the legend himself, Joey Diaz to join him in the cave. Uncle Joey recently had a health scare and was forced to spend some time in the hospital. He's doing alright now, but the worst part about it all was the blue balls and repressed feelings of horniness he felt. Jose and Bart also talk about falling back in love with comedy, slowing down your touring, the mass comedy exodus of Los Angeles, moving during a pandemic, the early days doing comedy with Rogan, the best Ralphie May stories, comic actors, saying whatever you want, and how important parking spots are in major cities. Enjoy the show!

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave we have Tom Segura and guest bear Kyle Dunnigan! After both appearing on "Kill Tony: Kill Or Be Killed", now streaming on Netflix, they've got some thoughts and reactions from that insane event to share with of you. They also discuss Kyle's weird dating history, his interest in taller women, and how he finds dates in a world of dating apps. Kyle also has a massive collection of impressions he unloads, including Caitlyn Jenner, RFK Jr, Joe Biden, and the infamous Bill Maher impression that Bill Maher just absolutely loves okaaayy. They also exchange stories about bombing at private events and Kyle tells Tom all about the time he worked Tony Robbins' weird birthday party. Lot of stories, lot of impressions, check it out!

Tom and Bert are back in the cave and things get spicy fast. This week the Bears dive into alternative p*rn genres you didn't know you needed, celebrate the beauty of international women, and break down the logic and logistics behind the noble art of "homie head." They also mentally prepare for a Por Osos gay bar takeover and talk the top 5 hot chick accents. Next, Bert recounts his unforgettable Monday Night RAW moment where he went full low-IQ adult and choke slammed two dudes on live TV! Then it's onto arranged marriages, glory holes, and other socially important topics. Pack a towel, this one gets sweaty.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kershire and Tim Segura are hooked up to IV's as they recover from their gay bar takeover and all the love the received from all those hungry bears. They talk Instagram FOMO, the magic of minority women making meals for their husbands, a chola influencer named La Sleep that Bert is obsessed with, and the performative nature of social media. They also talk about the appeal of the Kelce brothers to gays, share the unique name of a cocktail that was invented at the takeover, debate which group of people gives the best compliments, and finally they tackle the subject of sampling your own sauce, which means exactly what you think it means. Enjoy the show!

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer is joined by legendary funnyman and certified bear Thomas Lennon for one of the wildest rides yet. No stranger to confrontations, Thomas tells Bert some stories about a fight he got into in the real-world and the internet. They dive into the Amazon reviews of Mein Kampf, unpack the all-female Blue Origin space flight, and debate which celebs should be launched into orbit next.

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the legendary storyteller himself—MrBallen! Get ready for an epic conversation as they dive into some of the wildest true crime mysteries and horror stories, including the chilling unsolved case of the Yuba County Five and a gruesome incident on an oil rig that will haunt your dreams.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kershire are LIVE from the 2 Bears 5k in Tampa Bay Florida! They aren't alone either, the bears are joined by not one, not two, but three guest bears! Joining Tom and Bert are rapper/running enthusiast N.O.R.E, as well as, former NFL players/Super Bowl champs, Jason Kelce and Beau Allen. The group all get together to talk about the real challenges of the 2 Bears 5k, who the best drinkers are, running, nicknames, dictators, Hype Williams, stupid purchases, and so much more. Enjoy the show!

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on Tom's new Netflix series Bad Thoughts — a disturbing, hilarious, and brilliantly unhinged ride that Charo absolutely hated. The Bears talk about favorite sketches, behind-the-scenes moments, bloopers, and why Bert is both joking and not joking about not being cast.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert is on a retreat in Istanbul so Tom Segura is joined by the brilliantly bizarre Harland Williams for an unhinged episode packed with supposedly true stories, bootyholes, and too many farts. Harland kicks things off by reminiscing about fingering calamari and the first time someone touched his arse—with a thermometer. Tom shares the traumatic moment he had to show a friend his infamously hairy sphincter... and yes, he ends up showing Harland too.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tim Segura and Bert Kershire are LIVE from the Barstool Chicago studio and share some stories of their latest shenanigans in the Windy City. The Bears also talk about bombing in Hawaii, jokes about slurs, fathers, women fading, whatever's going on in Bert's mouth, plus the internet hate for WNBA player Angel Reece and alleged royal Meghan Markle. The Bears are then joined by Big Cat who talks about stuff his kids are into lately and his favorite hobby aka gambling. Speaking of which, he also teaches the Bears about Dana White's infamous Tunnel of Chaos, before they pivot to the series "MobLand", and Tom shares a story about almost buying Dr. Dre's house. Bert also trash talks Tom's home base for some reason and compares us...I mean...it, to an abortion clinic or a dentist office, which, let me say is totally an exaggeration....I love working here. Enjoy the episode!

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the hilariously unfiltered Mark Normand! The episode kicks off with farts and sharts as Mark shares the horrifying tale of sharting on a date right after letting one rip at the top of the show. The Bears talk about parenthood, including Mark's brand-new baby, Tom's kids telling gay jokes, the absolute chaos of tiny humans mimicking adult behavior, and the innocence of youth. They next dive into Tom Cruise's intensity, his popcorn-eating habits, and whether the man who saved cinema is also just a little…off. Then they go deep on comedy life: struggling in New York, open mics, internet haters, and the brutal truth that even legends get roasted. Mark also shares more about life as a Brooklyn dad, falling asleep to podcasts, his time as a janitor, and a wild Copenhagen strip club story courtesy of Bert Kreischer. The conversation also hits on Tim Dillon's CNN moment, Sam Morril, Joe List, Vyvanse brain boosts, and weird dudes trying to get into business with Tom's old corn star neighbor. Buckle up, queef it up, and enjoy!  

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bart Kersher are joined by rapper That Mexican OT! They kickoff the chat talking about Mexican food, burger spots, and That Mexican OT reveals a wild secret he has about eggs. On top of being super chill, That Mexican OT is a real authentic dude and he opens up about his very unique upbringing that helped shape who he is today. The trio discuss everything from hunting kangaroos to Japanese cholos, plus they also talk about bullfighting, gangster moms, pimp fathers, four wheelers, Project Recess! Grab some Por Osos and enjoy this episode!

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the legendary Jim Norton! The bears dive into Jim's brand new special, why he no longer wants to be a cuck, and what it's like to live shamelessly — including some very NSFW stories from Brazil. Tom and Jim cover everything from a friendly Hitler and war documentaries to bombing onstage and the dark side of stand-up. They check out clips of Orson Welles' drunk ad reads and William Shatner being difficult during a recording, and discuss JFK conspiracies, before pivoting to the power of charismatic maniacs like Jeffrey Epstein. Plus, Tom confronts his own comedy insecurities and Jim shares some Patrice O'Neal stories and breaks down the wildest moments from his years in radio. You don't want to miss this one!

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert's intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer reunite in sunny California for a jam-packed episode full of FOMO, fatherhood, and flaming hot air balloon disasters. The bears talk about Tom's California vacation and getting into surfing with his boys. They dig into wild parenting comparisons, Luis J. Gomez's insane training routines, and Bert feeling FOMO for Andrew Schulz's perfect summer life on Instagram.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on sports. They talk about Brett Favre's fall from grace, the greatness of the 2001 Baltimore Ravens, the unbeatable aura of Tony Siragusa, and the dynamic duo of Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham. Before that, Bert shares some stories about going over to T-Pains house. The bears also discuss how violence has made the WNBA more watchable, how good the ESPN "30 For 30" documentaries are, and the most unbelievable races people participate in. Plus: Bert tells a story about how he almost chainsawed a leg off on skates, the Red Bull Flutag, rat catchers, Bert's chicken murder mystery, and more!

Tom and Bert are out for the summer, so Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are stepping in as your substitute Bears. In this unhinged takeover, they immediately derail the show with tales of cholesterol-fueled delusion, Nazi neighbors in Queens, circumcision conspiracies, radical acceptance, berberine powder, and why 4th of July is the real American holiday (sorry January 6).

Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest "Queens County court appearance" outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris's brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice).

The Summer Bears are back and sweatier than ever as Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return to the Cave for a milestone 300th episode that somehow combines deep psychological trauma, ass-eating, and cholesterol awareness in one glorious mess. Chrissy D reveals his shocking bedtime history with his mom, his late-night transition out of her bed, and how a surprise with a tongue changed the trajectory of his life—and his act. Stav explains how a 3XL shirt, childhood grilled cheese binges, and SNL reruns turned him into the hairy Greek sex symbol we know today. The bears also dive into the state of late night TV (RIP), Jurassic Park boners, and why Bert and Tom might end up bankrupt with nothing but podcast houses and Uncrustables to their name. Plus, an unhinged Monarch Money ad read, BlueChew boners, Turkish military anal policies, and a heartfelt video message from Tom Segura himself. Are the Summer Bears destined to do this forever? Stay tuned!

The Summer Bears are back and Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are fully locked into their takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Stav in a floral shirt and Chris squeezed into a Darryl Strawberry jersey, the two dive headfirst into tales of the wild ‘86 Mets, Kevin Spacey offering unsolicited shoulder rubs, and the horrifying science of ALS—because what's funnier than degenerative nerve disease? Stavvy also gets a massage from Chrissy, we learn about Lenny Dykstra's podcast rates, and the guys debate polyamory, prostitutes, and just how many years Bert Kreischer has left.  

Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another sugar-fueled Summer Bears meltdown—this time with bagels, tiramisu, and enough food guilt to keep a Catholic therapist booked for years. The boys break down Chris' ChatGPT pep talk, reminisce about Stavvy's golden toothless years, and spiral into a deep dive on Neapolitan ice cream fraud, gay NFL cheerleaders, and the politics of bagel orders. Also: Chris reveals his VO2 Max results from a flamboyant fitness coach who may or may not have called him "zaddy."

The Summer Bears' reign has unfortunately come to an end! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for their last fill-in as hosts of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and they're going out with a bang. From roasting Tom and Bert's absence to spiraling into wild tangents about parenting, moving, sex robots, and pie diplomacy with the NYPD, this send-off is chaotic, hilarious, and the perfect finale. Stavvy and Chrissy talk about the shock of how much fans loved their takeover, whether they'd ever come back as the Fall Bears, and even get Bert on the phone. Tom of course doesn't pick up. But that's okay, because Mark Normand and Sam Morril crash the party near the end, bringing eclairs and stomach bugs to help close things out. It's been a wild six weeks, and the Summer Bears want to leave you with one last memory. You're welcome, f*ckers!

Bert and Tom are BACK in the Cave! After a memorable summer takeover by Stavvy and Chrissy D, the OG Bears return to catch up on everything—movies, standup, gambling, insane diets, and why Bert can't stop eating 10 egg bites at once. Tom opens up about his recent cancer-screening scare, which led to a brutal five-day water fast, and accidentally dropping 25 pounds while filming El Tigre. Bert shares why his watch doesn't fit anymore, how he tormented his director by throwing Liquid Death cans at 4 AM, and the disgusting way he measures his weight. The Bears also dive into the future of late-night TV, Amy Poehler's move into podcasting, their own TV and film projects, and Bert's insane plan to bet $1,000 every week on the Bucs. Plus: family visits on set, Isla living like a diva in Bert's trailer, Tom's boys discovering fake cocaine, and both Bears gearing up for the upcoming NFL and NCAA football seasons! 

We're sorry, guys! Tom and Bert are back in the cave with a full plate: Druski's viral NASCAR "whiteface" sketch and the art of deep-cover character work, a big "Would you die for your country?" debate, and discuss why streaming giants (Kai, Adin, Jack, etc.) have completely remixed entertainment. Plus, Tom relives an electric college football weekend (FSU at home against Alabama = goosebumps), Bert admits he tried to move a 400-lb armoire and declared himself top 0.5% strong in the city, and the guys hatch a chaotic million-dollar plan to manage an OnlyFans creator—will it work? Is white-face really back? Is Bert making things up? Watch and find out!  

Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he's ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert's "sleep divorce," VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air. The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who should be the first official "2 Bears OF star," and spiral into some truly insane pitches that only these two maniacs could come up with. Plus: speech impediments, Elmer Fudd racism, trolling stories, gambling breakdowns from NFL Week 1, and Bert trying to recruit Zac Efron into a shirtless golf fantasy with their new NIL athlete. This might just be the best episode of this show in a long ass time, don't miss it.

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, James Gunn joins Tom Segura to talk filmmaking and the state of the entertainment industry. Gunn opens up about directing Superman, the pressures behind it, and the relief of its success. He also discusses his role as co-head of DC Studios, building a decade-long DC universe, and the bold choice to reshoot five and a half episodes of Peacemaker with a new Vigilante. Tom and James bond over grounded storytelling, casting decisions, and the balance between comedy, superhero films, and CGI. They also touch on the return of comedies to theaters and how the industry continues to evolve.

This week, Tom Segura is joined by one of the greatest one-liner comedians in the world, Jimmy Carr! Tom and Jimmy dive deep into the craft of comedy, comparing Carr's laser-focused joke construction to Bert Kreischer's chaotic storytelling. Jimmy reveals his controversial (and hilarious) take on marijuana legalization—mandating it for people over 50—and the tragic role of "cheap dopamine" in modern life, from social media to porn. The conversation touches on global comedy culture, the variable reward system that drives stand-up and casinos , and why the live comedy experience is 30 times funnier than watching a special alone. Jimmy Carr also gives his final, wishful prediction for how Bert Kreischer will die. Plus: Why the 21st Century is just the 20th century on better screens, the long wait for GTA 6, Jimmy's hilarious interactions with Stephen Hawking, the importance of gratitude, and why Tom should have read the Quentin Tarantino book. Don't miss a conversation that is smart, insightful, and packed with the sharp, dark wit that only Jimmy Carr can deliver!

This week, Bert and Tom dive headfirst into the weirdest brain rot rabbit holes yet — from testing out VR porn ("you can see her fillings!") to auditioning more OnlyFans submissions, one of which that includes… a unique Por Osos bottle cameo. The Bears also pitch a business idea for a grown-man "locker room," debate how Bert's woke daughters compare to Tom's redneck sons, and discover the world's wildest dogs and cats. Plus: Jelly Roll's 5K transformation, Savannah cats that look like mini-lions, and Bert's desperate plan to sneak another puppy past Leanne. It's sex robots, freeze porn, fat-to-fit inspiration, and pet chaos all rolled into one classic 2 Bears, 1 Cave mess.

Bert Kreischer sits down with YouTuber and social media personality, Funny Marco for one of the most effortlessly hilarious and unexpectedly deep conversations on 2 Bears, 1 Cave. The two dive into everything from guessing celebrity ages and debating who the sexiest comedian is, to the weird psychology of fame, strip club etiquette, and why Ice Cube has never smiled in a movie. Marco opens up about his viral interviews with Nicki Minaj and Orlando Brown, the surreal side of fame, and what it means to stay grounded when everyone treats you like a brand instead of a person. Bert shares behind-the-scenes stories from The Cabin and The Machine, his friendship with Katt Williams, and what it's really like when fame takes away your freedom to "just go." Funny, sharp, and full of quotable moments, this episode swings from gut-busting comedy to surprisingly real talk about authenticity, anxiety, and why being "D-list famous" might be the sweet spot.

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert sits down with comedy legend Sebastian Maniscalco for one of the funniest, most honest conversations yet. They dive deep into Sebastian's new stand-up special filmed at the United Center, what it takes to stay passionate about comedy, and how fatherhood changes everything.

This week, Tom Segura sits down with WWE legend Mark Calloway — better known to millions as The Undertaker — for one of the most fascinating and hilarious deep dives ever on 2 Bears 1 Cave. From the grind of early wrestling days to the creation of one of the most iconic characters in sports entertainment, this episode is pure gold for wrestling fans and comedy lovers alike.

Bert Kreischer celebrates turning 53 the only way he knows how — by spiraling into an existential and hilarious conversation with comedian and cosmic philosopher Duncan Trussell. From tales of Bigfoot and testicular cancer to deep dives on AI, death, main character syndrome, and whether any of us are even real, this episode swings from absurd to profound faster than Bert can take his shirt off. Duncan and Bert talk about everything — mortality, digital immortality, the illusion of self, performative living, and how comedy might be the purest form of chaos magic

This week, Bert sits down with the one and only Mel Robbins for a brutally honest, hilarious, and surprisingly deep conversation about anxiety, cheating, parenting, and learning how to "let them." From wild college confessions to Mel breaking down her Let Them Theory in real time, this episode is half therapy, half comedy, and all chaos.

Tom Segura returns to the cave with the one-and-only Kirk Fox, comedian, actor, and possibly a future Supermax inmate, depending on how you interpret this episode. The two dive into Kirk's accidental tennis-career-turned-acting path, his eccentric family upbringing (outdoor showers, blood-written memorials, and a grandma in a box), and his lifelong dream of becoming either an FBI profiler or a serial killer — whichever opportunity arrives first.

In this powerful and surprisingly emotional episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura sits down with Louis C.K. to discuss his new novel Ingram, the creative process behind writing fiction, and the brutal emotional reality of loneliness and childhood struggle. Louis explains why he quit stand-up for over a year, how stepping away from the stage changed his life, and what ultimately pulled him back into comedy.

This week, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King for a wild, emotional ride—naked ocean stories with Navy SEALs, cocaine confessions, microdosing mushrooms, Southern rock rankings, and why internet comments haunt grown men at 3AM. Plus: TikTok ruining music, therapy drunk, and Bert accidentally following people who hate him. Check it out!

This week, Bert's wasting away, Tom's tucking in his shirts, and the Bears are going into hibernation for the winter. Before that good news, Bert breaks down losing 25 lbs in a month, projectile-vomiting in airport bathrooms, and Tom producing Olympic-level protein farts. Tom also talks his new pastry empire and defends his son's obsession with suits and hair product; along the way they dive into Bert's DEXA scan nightmare, and some chaotic CMA stories including a Steve Martin panic-meeting and Billy Bob Thornton being a king. They also discuss robe culture, aging out of podcasting, comedian fashion, the future of 2 Bears with guest hosts, tours and the 2 Bears 5K, plus they announce the return of the Summer Bears next week. Enjoy!

Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the Winter Bears and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert's cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive systems. It's chaotic, barely prepared, medically concerning, and absolutely perfect. Enjoy!

Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2 Bears history.

The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn't prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched. From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein's brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again.

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by guest bear Ryan Sickler! They discuss Ryan's recent health scare, Tom's old basketball injury, living forever, and The Way Back, Sickler's brand-new nostalgia podcast. Tom also tells Ryan some F1 stories, Ryan shares a story about an alleged bomber who climbed up a ferris wheel on a pier, plus the bears talk famous villains from history like Whitey Bulger, new sleeping tips, and the dangers of the gold mining industry in Latin America. Try it out!

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, modern medicine has brought Bert and Tom back together and they want to chat about some changes in-store for the podcast. They try to make right by the fans by reducing ads at the top and being more mindful about Bert's interruptions. Speaking of interruptions, doesn't it suck when Uber drivers interrupt your chill ride with unwanted conversation? Bert and Tom talk get into some bad Uber driver experiences, before getting into ex-Presidents they've been alive for, plus some wild thoughts on Biggie, Tupac, and Diddy. Plus the 2 Bears 5K is just around the corner and there's still time to sign-up! Other topics covered in this one include: OJ Simpson's passing, Jerrod Carmichael, boys trips, amusement park rides, 5K predictions, the "new" Bert, comas, running shoes, the Netflix series "Ripley", and more.

Alright, we'll keep it here....Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are looking to grow and heal and have some help in the form of the one and only "Dr. Phil" (Adam Ray)! Tom and Bert start off by getting the good doctor a stiff drink, before they debate soft drinks and famous Jasons. They deep dive into Brad Pitt lore and discuss the old saying "age is just a number". "Dr. Phil" surprises the bears with some fun facts and people with funny sounding names. They also play a couple of bonding games "Dr. Phil" has come up with and share some wild stories they've experienced at gentlemen clubs. Other topics covered in this one include Alex Trebek, little people, favorite comedians, and running bits. We'll be right back!

We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are fresh off a gig roasting Tom Brady on Netflix and they tell the story of how they got there and how challenging it was being a last minute addition to the show. Jimmy Carr joins them and offers his more posh take on the festivities as well. They also talk about Nikki Glaser's performance, Rob Gronkowski, the sensibilities of being Irish and English, the joy of comedy, and getting laughs in different languages.

We're back with another primal episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert relive some moments from this past weeks 2 Bears 5k with bowhunting athlete Cameron Hanes. Cameron is no stranger to bears, as a hunter they are one of the many types of game he takes down throughout the year. His hunting eventually attracted the eye of the one and only Joe Rogan, who picked Cam's brain about everything there is to know about bowhunting. Cameron tells the bears some hunting stories and even gets them interested in joining in as well. They also talk about proxy parenting, diet coke, relieving yourself during marathons, the competition of life, active lifestyles, some wisdom from Bert's dad.

We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by the great and powerful Tony Hinchcliffe! Tony talks with the bears about the origin and legacy of Kill Tony, doing arena shows, and of course the Netflix Roast of Tom Brady. They swap stories on how they each got involved with the show and the creative process behind it all. Tony even drops a hot scoop from the event just for Tom and Bert. They also talk about the good and bad parts of the roast, the performances of Andrew Shultz, Nikki Glaser, and Ben Affleck, plus much more! You can't really tell, but Tony looks like he's dressed like a UPS delivery guy. Grab a deflated football and enjoy!

Bert is down for the count this week and sitting in for him is the great Jon Stewart joining Tom Segura for 1 Bear, 1 Jew...or No Cave, 1 Bear...idk it's still 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Jon Stewart has recently returned to The Daily Show host chair on Mondays and he talks about how his return has been going. They discuss the idea of time being able to pass you by, legacies fathers leave behind for their kids, Tom's own son's colorful vocabulary, and then dip some bear paws into political issues. They also talk about the gift of gift giving, stuff Tom's sons are into right now, and Jon Stewart details his run in the WWE, having a moment at Summer slam, and turning heel on John Cena. Check it out!

Welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Bert Kreischer is out of commission after hosting last week's episode and sitting in for him is guest bear Ron White! The bears talk about how Ron's not so serious retirement is going, his golf game, competing with old men at sports, Eddie Izzard's marathoning, the Olympics, Rogan's recent live Netflix special and more!

Welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up on Bert's recent ailment and his recent bout with nicotine withdrawals. Tom also tells Bert about a really cool dream his son had that may or may not be concerning! The bears also talk about mortality, books, weird things to talk to your kids about, James Perse, shaming people for bad parking, and Bert's recent obsessions. They also talk about Juvenile getting kicked off an airplane plus Bert talks about Hawaii so much you'll wanna go there yourself.

Welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer went all the way to Las Vegas to chat with it's biggest fan...and also UFC President, the great and powerful Dana White! Dana just pulled off another one of a kind UFC event, this time inside the Vegas Sphere and he chats with bears about it's significance and connection with Mexican culture. Tom and Bert also bond with Dana about being fathers and pick his brain about some of the fathering techniques he has used on his own offspring. They also talk all about Joe Rogan and how Dana found the perfect ambassador and announcer all in one comedic body. Of course, you can't have Dana White on a pod without talking about gambling so the bears ask him loads of questions about his big wins, craziest stories, and the allure of baccarat. Nobody loves Vegas more than Dana and you might feel the urge to book a plane ticket after you listen to this guy talk about it. Enjoy!

Welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up and recap their recent trip to Las Vegas. Bert talks about chest tattoos and Tom asks him what he remembers from their bar takeover at Park MGM. Bert brings up his experiences as a new empty nester and dropping off his daughters at college for the first time. Tom recalls a story about an OD in college and the bears share stories about their dads reactions to some really wacky stuff they pulled during their college years. They also talk about LeeAnn's thoughts on magic, Matt Rife's insomnia, giant donuts, Bert's obsession with death, some history lessons, and a lot of food talk. Check it out!

Welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer got a lot of subjects to cover, including, the Emmy's, Bert's ability to make celebrities uncomfortable at parties, the most handsome 9/11 hijacker, self-loathing, and being a good listener. The Bears also debate an interesting "would you rather" question about death, talk about Shannon Sharpe and his alleged accidental live video, the dirty talk LeeAnn indulges in behind closed bedroom doors, and some comedy club talk. Plus Tommy and Berty brainstorm some fun stuff to chat about next week. Always two steps ahead. Check it out!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bart Chrysler! The bears are in Florida and are feeling like real Florida-men right now. They talk travel essentials and share some strip club tips, before discussing the passion and defensiveness some people have for their hometowns. Bert goes on a tangent about Harriet Tubman, the bears talk about the concept of dressing like a black dude, they also talk movie premieres, Andy Garcia, Fancy Chef, and the first time sharing your comedy career with your parents. Check it out!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bart Chrysler! The bears marvel at how far AI has come and wonder if that handy little tool called ChatGPT will one day bring humanity to it's knees. They also speculate what their exit strategies would be if the machines were to rise and take over. On the subject of all-powerful overlords, Bert and Tom talk about some of the world's eccentric dictators, including one I hadn't even heard of named General Butt Naked. They also talk about the Hawk Tuah Girl, some really gay and diverse advertisements, Ari's stage surprise at Skankfest, authenticity, and being naked on a Netflix show! Watch or else ChatGPT will send you a really mean email.

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear, Judd Apatow! Judd is the producer of every great comedy from the 2000's and he's got some insider stories behind some of those hits to share. He reveals to Bert why he likes writing about dumb guys and stoners, shares a cute story about writing to Steve Martin in his early days, and Bert gives us an update on Tom and Garth. Judd and Bert also talk about Adam Sandler's clothing style, rich guy stuff, F1, being recognized in public, Steely Dan, 80's comedies, Mulaney, Garry Shandling, and why nobody runs to see comedies in movie theaters anymore. Check it out!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear, Stavros Halkias! With this episode, Stavros earns the rare "2 Bears Triple Crown", having been on the show with both guests individually and together. Stavros has a new movie coming out called "Let's Start A Cult" and Bert can't help gush about it. Stavros cares a lot about this film and feels quite proud of it. Naturally it's a comedy, so Bert and Stavros eventually discuss their personal Comedy Mount Rushmore. They also get into some of Bert's regrets from "The Machine", track suits at movie premieres, the upcoming NBA season, F1 in Vegas, Donald Trump's frequent podcast appearances lately, Charlie Murphy, and a controversial opinion about dentists. Check it out!

Once again , it's 2 Bears, 1 Cave this time with Tommy Bunz taking a turn in the cave with a guest bear! This week Tom is joined by comedian Russell Peters, who may or may not have a thing for Tom's mom Charo. The two have a lively discussion about hip-hop and Big Daddy Kane, whom Russell knows personally. They also talk about places they don't like to travel to, crazy international flights, older porn stars, doing a special in Abu Dhabi, being a super dad, and the worst place to be tripping on something. They also share their thoughts on cold plunges, their moms, and Tom shares some info about his upcoming series on Netflix. Check it out!

Alright, alright, alright, welcome back to 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are joined by the coolest dude in Austin, Matthew McConaughey! Matt's re-releasing his book, "Greenlights" and visits the cave to talk all about it. It's a book that feels just like you're sitting down hanging out with McConaughey himself. The bears dive deep into Matt's personal philosophies and make a hands-on discovery about how seamless it is for him to be cool. The trio also talk about their personal alcohol brands, McConaughey's early film roles, that thing he does in "The Wolf of Wall Street", Tom's first time meeting him years ago, the cult status of "Tiptoes", and the almighty condiment ketchup. They also talk about biggest dammits, ballsy moves, their dads, friendships, Joey Diaz, the McConaissance, and the bears also learn a bunch of food hacks from the mind of McConaughey. So check out this episode....be a lot cooler if you did!

Once again , it's 2 Bears, 1 Cave this time Bert is gifted a very special birthday gift, guest bear Dr. Phil! The two have a lively discussion about birthday months, Zac Efron, gossip, keeping secrets, and fleshlights. Dr. Phil also talks about the importance of figuring out life, gives Bert some words of wisdom, and for some reason they talk about Judy Blume books. They also talk about parties, Bert's dumb hats, Rob Gronkowski, Dr. Phil's new Netflix special, Tobey Maguire, some word play, and Dr. Phil pulls out a guitar to sing a special song for Bert. Check it out!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear, Danny Trejo! John Segura is out growing his beard back, so Bert had to do his homework for this interview. He has plenty of engaging questions as he learns about Danny Trejo's first Hollywood roles, his gangster roots, and the importance his Uncle Gilbert had on his upbringing. Danny also talks all about his time doing time, how to stay in shape behind bars, and tells Bert a story about how he accidentally joined Alcoholics Anonymous. The two also discuss Danny's new show "Mysteries Unearthed" on the History channel, chicano culture, cars, cry acting, William Shatner, and of course the vast filmography of Mr. Danny Trejo. Check it out!

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear and armchair expert, Dax Shepard! Bert once again proves his improved prowess as an interviewer by providing proof he did his research for this talk. Bert and Dax talk all about Dax's podcast "Armchair Expert" and how he had made a splash in the podcast world even though he entered it kinda late in the game. They talk about podcasting during the pandemic, Kristen Bell's knack for killing people with kindness in the darkest way, sober life, best friends, soulmates, idolizing Vince Vaughn, college days, high school crushes, Burt Reynolds, and more!  Check it out!

Sam Morril joins Tom Segura for this week's episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! They discuss the benefits of night flights, mile high bullies, the New York City experience, the JonBenét Ramsey case, the disappointing Aaron Rodgers-Jets run, LeBron James' longevity, admiring bodies, the Vince McMahon scandals, political jokes, unique smut fetishes, trying new things on stage, and so much more!  

The Shaman himself, Matt McCusker joins Tom Segura for this week's episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! They discuss the United Healthcare CEO shooter, Parking Wars, rude meter-maids, Asian excellence, skateboarding, gambling, the thrill of winning, Matt's career as a dealer, Tom's face, wiener fluffing, big dick energy, and so much more!

Arnold Schwarzenegger joins Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer in the gym for this week's episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! The bears are beyond pumped (and maybe a little intimidated) as Arnie entertains them with wild stories from his bodybuilding days and his legendary rivalries with Lou Ferrigno and Sylvester Stallone. Arnold also talks to the bears about his love of cigars, the exercises he helped popularize, his physique, Muhammed Ali, plus the surprising way Milton Berle helped shape his career and so much more!

We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by WWE Superstar Cody Rhodes! Cody is currently the reigning Undisputed WWE Champion and as WWE moves to Netflix, he's got time to hangout with the Bears. Cody and Bert are already familiar with each other having worked together on the reality competition series "Go-Big Show" and they reminisce a bit about that experience. Tom also finds a kinship with Cody himself as they both suffered horrific injuries while performing, two moments that were also captured for all to see. The three of them also talked about the art of self-promotion, the old mob mentality of wrestling territories, Mike Tyson, political ambitions, Cody paving the way for people with neck tattoos, legacies, and so much more